Autumn wants a Bobby Jack comforter for her bed. We can't buy her the $80 one at JC Penney and she's sad. Now, I don't feel like she will be deprived if she doesn't have it, but Autumn is very good at making people (me) feel guilty about not being able to get her some of the things she wants. She needs a new comforter, that's true. And I promised that if she kept her room clean for 2 weeks solid she could get one. (We're constantly trying to motivate her to keep her room clean, because otherwise it turns into the wreck of the Hesperus--thanks for that expression, Mom--in a day or two.) The groundrules were that she could pick it out, but I had to approve and it had to be affordable.
So she sees this Bobby Jack one on jcpenney.com and falls in love with it. I like the cute but budget-wise one at Shopko. When I try to convince her to get the cheaper one she just acts insolent and ungrateful. "You can buy me anything in this store and I won't want that one," she says. (Was I like this at 10?) So I tell her we can go look around at other stores and see what we find and if we find one cheap enough we can get it.
Our compromise: A cute clearance Bobby Jack pillow sham from Mervyn's she can use for a throw pillow that will match the on-sale set at Shopko. That works for her. The bonus is that we found a half-price Bobby Jack throw blanket that she can have if she keeps her room clean until she goes back on track on Jan. 14. Woohoo! Another incentive to put those dirty clothes in the hamper!
So did I handle this in the best way? Probably not. I want her to value the things she has and not take them for granted (hence not taking care of her things and leaving them lying around in a messy room). But I also want her to know that I'm trying to work with her and not just ignoring her desires.
Oh, I don't look forward to teenagehood.
4 comments:
Great compromise, Julie!
You should post a pic of the sham and bedspread...and a happy Autumn!
Sounds good to me. I don't even know what that is, guess you gotta have a girl, huh.
Julie- you should know that was a very smart choice. I think it is hard as moms though, because it is easy to feel guilty and question ourselves. I do not know what Bobby Jack is either though. Fortunate for me Ashlin doesn't even know how to look on JCPenney.com. In our house she would have had me pick out a couple that she could choose between. Just recently we redid her bedroom and I looked around (I agree $80 is a lot) for a long time online offline, in discount stores etc, before I finally settled on her duvet cover for $30 from DownEast Outfitters outlet. I was pretty particular about cost and look, so took a long time-months. When I brought it home and she saw it, I was lucky, she liked it. She is pretty easy to please, and I am realizing how I need to count my blessings for that. I do think however that it is great that Autumn knows what she wants, that is a good quality. She'll probably grow up and be a designer or great interior decorator or something.
Okay, add me to the list of those who doesn't know who Bobby Jack is, and wants to see a picture! Lucky for me, my tween is not into too many name brand items, except for anything Harry Potter! I get away with making stuff for her...
I like the ideas on keeping her room clean, though. Trying to keep Carly's room clean is just an ongoing trauma...
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